I should have known, when I posted my pre-emptive fail post last week, that I was standing on the edge of a very slippery slope indeed. And lo, I did slither down unto December, thus scoring 26/30 on the NaBloPoMo assessment card. But hey, that's 86.6% after all. It's an A+ where I come from and it's certainly a lot better than some of the grades I've received in my time: namely 0% for cell chemistry. For the final grade. I do not jest. Cell chemistry was never a strong suit, not like say, cell biology, for which I received 15%. I think we can all agree that it's a good job I'm a lawyer.
Anyway. Despite my blogging slackitude, I did get quite a bit done around these parts over the weekend. I returned from Auckland on Friday night, suitably professionally developed, and set about making life comfortable for #1 child, who that very day had had a section of the national railroad attached to her teeth. In a twist of good fortune (for me) her appointment was earlier in the day, during which time I was contemplating the pay equity gap at a certain NZ university (not my own, but it may as well have been). This was well-timed on my part since the clash required the dad to take said child to orthodontist (thus forever in her mind being linked as the agent of pain) and also meant he had to pay the equivalent of the GNP of a medium-sized pacific nation for the privilege. Epic score for moi. Then all I had to do was be sympathetic and supportive and feed her special foods that I never would buy under any other circumstances because I am a cheap bastard. Namely, the poorly-branded "Fruit Squirts", jelly, Up & Go, and individual yoghurts. Oh, and administer pain relief at 4 hour intervals. And spend most of the night awake with her, because as it turned out she had a bad case of hayfever at the same time and couldn't breathe properly. As well as, y'know, feeling like she had a car radiator in her mouth. But that was pretty much all I did.
Then on Saturday we had to go into town so the chilluns could try on costumes for the Santa Parade. This was Q's first public outing since the braces so she spent the entire time with her hand over her mouth, because really, that's the most reliable way of saying "don't look at me".
I also managed to cut what seemed like 6 acres of grass with the motor mower, but was probably only half an acre. Still, that's a lot. And it was hot, and I sweated like a sweaty thing, and I got a rash on my arms and did I mention it was hot? Why, hello summer. But this is why I need never go to the gym, so I should just STFU with the complaints, I guess. Especially since I could hire someone to do the job for me but I am a cheap bastard. I think I have mentioned this.
THEN! We put up all the Christmas lights outside (including a diversion to The Warehouse Where Everyone Gets a Bargain for more lights because I was channelling Tim Taylor at that point). And this is not a good photo because my night photography? Not so flash. hah!
Also, the girls decorated the tree:
Three things:
1. I realise you can't really see the tree. Trust me, it's there. I was too busy trying to get the dog to look at the camera rather than the cat who was sitting by the door, taunting him with her mere presence.
2. This will no doubt be the first of many pictures in which Q refuses to open her mouth for the camera. She's already complained loudly and at length that she can't put her teeth together at the back, which is the only way in which you can (apparently) ensure a perfect smile.
3. This is the first year where I have let the girls decorate the tree without changing anything afterward. Unless you count the tinsel, which I did change afterward. But! The tinsel must be wrapped around the tree completely symmetrically. Everyone knows that. God! One other admission: while I certainly didn't go so far as forbidding the proliferation of home made decorations, I did suggest that the practice would be frowned upon. I have standards. Not high ones, but standards nonetheless.
Other weekend activities included developing my own gluten-free banana chocolate chip muffins. Our somewhat limited diet (no wheat, gluten, or red meat for me, no pork or red meat for Q) has shrunk even further now that Q is not allowed to eat anything that may interfere with her braces. The list is huge, and includes things like corn chips and tacos, nuts and seeds, and toast! So a revised menu is on the list of things to do and in the meantime we're eating a lot of rice. Anyway, I did have a nice gluten-free berry muffin recipe but Q can't eat the berries because of the seeds so I had to adapt. And I did. And the muffins were actually quite nice despite the absence of gluten. Having eaten a range of gluten-free foods over the last 2 years I have come to the conclusion that gluten is the substance that makes things taste good.
I don't even know where I was going with this post now, but I suspect it's time to wrap it up for the safety of all parties. It's probably the longest post I've ever written so it's fitting that it's about nothing in particular.
